Consequences

today was ok until dinner time when i was once again struck by another emo-attack. suddenly lost appetite. sigh.. the others are just talking away and what i do is keep quiet and go through the full effect of the emo-attack. i notice that i have been eating very little lately but i can't help it. totally no appetite. sometimes i'm really starting to worry about my own health. i know i should be eating regularly but i really can't help it.

i am trying so hard, so hard to let you go. i force and limit myself to one text a day. every day, i waited until 10pm just to text you. the one and only quota i have but there is no reply. i know you have the right to choose whether or not to reply but still it feels so bad. so very bad and there is nothing i can do.

like u said, i requested you to be cruel. i guess this is consequence of being stupid when suggesting you that. if that is the reason why you are not replying or picking up my calls, i wish to take back what i said. i want your reply so badly. i miss you so much. i am willing to give anything just for a reply.

still struggling to fight the heartache. hopefully beer will help me get through it.

good nite and peace out.